Monday, November 1, 2010

While We Wait: The "Blahs" Have Set In

In the interest of full disclosure, I'm going to be honest about where I am right now.  Blah.  So. Stinkin'. Blah.  Not sad or depressed.  Just blah.

Since I've been honest up until this point, I feel the need for honesty now.  No need to paint a rosy picture when it's not true.  The last 4+ months on the Wait List really have flown by.  We have stayed very busy, which I think has kept me distracted.  I've had NO issues with patience, because it felt like being home with our baby was just around the corner.  Now, not so much. 

The average wait time for a referral has stayed relatively low up until now (8 months for an infant 0-12 months), and I had gotten very optimistic that we'd have our baby home by next summer.  The last update we received from Gladney shows wait times slowing down a bit, in addition to a consolidation of 2 court dates into one.  I had really gotten my hopes up about being home by next summer, but now I'm trying to set my expectation for the fall.  I hope we don't have to wait till after the Rainy Season to pass court, but if there are any delays, I'm afraid that's what we're looking at.  I figure it's better to deal with that now, while I have plenty of time to adjust to it, than to get upset later. 

Despite all that, there are several things I know to be true, and which ultimately give me hope...
  1. God has been in control of every single aspect of this adoption since before we even knew that it was His plan for us, and I firmly believe He will continue to bring about His plan for us and our child on His timetable; which leads me to...
  2. His timing is perfect.  It has been up until now, and I totally trust it will continue to be perfect;
  3. The more time we wait, the more time we have to a) just be Robert & Rebecca for a little while longer; b) save money; c) decorate the nursery; and d) prepare for being parents; and finally...
  4. Wait times and court processes fluctuate.  They've changed a few times since we began this process in January.  They are likely to change again.  Let's hope it's for the better :)
Because blogs have been such a huge source of encouragement to me throughout this process - particularly those people who were honest about the not-so-rosy aspects of adoption, I wanted to be honest about where I am today.  I hope one day it will provide encouragement to someone else in this situation.  You're not alone :)


  1. The blahs are hard...waiting is hard...but God is faithful. I know you know that, but sometimes we just need to hear it over and over and over again. Praying for you and your little one-to-be.

  2. I appreciate the honesty in your post! We're still paperchasing so I'm sure that once you're on the list the anticipation grows every month that passes. Crossing my fingers that your referral comes quickly and you have your sweet pea home soon!

  3. Hello, I am a new follower : ) Thank you for this post, I can really relate to it! We are about a week behind you in the wait (July 1). Many blessings to you and your family! ~Chrissy

  4. The waiting is SO HARD!! I remember thinking that the first 4 months flew by and then it was like this crazy person set up residence in my mind. You are not alone!! And thinking about that rainy season will make you even crazier. If it helps, we didn't go on the waitlist until mid-august and waited close to 9 months for our referral and still made it through court before they closed. Hold out hope! Thinking of you!

  5. The Busters were just ahead of us on the waiting list, so we moved through the process together and now we're good friends! Blog friends are a huge source of encouragement and I'm glad you've already found that to be true. My experience was similar to the Busters...the first few months went by quickly (and the holidays coming up will make the next month go by fast!), but then things felt like they got slow. Hang in there!!! This time next year, you'll probably be having your first Christmas as parents! FUN!!!


  6. I hit the "blahs" sometimes too. Waiting is tougher than people think! When we first got on the wait list, the wait for child over 13 months was 5 months... when we hit the 5 month mark, it was at 8 months! Praying it goes by quickly for both of us :)