Saturday, March 13, 2010

OK, I'm Over It

Yeah, so by Thursday I was over the sadness of dealing with a new twist to the adoption process.  I spent Wednesday night wallowing in my sadness, thinking about going to Ethiopia, meeting our baby, spending time with him/her, bonding, and then LEAVING!  OH the heartache!  But it won't be forever, just a few weeks, and then we'll be back.  And we're not the only ones this affects - EVERYBODY will be dealing with the same issues.  So, it's not just me, I can deal with it.

I've also been focusing on the positives of this new development.  Here are some thoughts from my "thought closet":
  • We GET to go to Ethiopia twice!  I realize this may not be a positive for a lot of people, but I've been getting really excited about going over there and experiencing everything I've been reading about.  And now we get to do it twice!  I LOVE that!
  • We have plenty of time to save up for traveling twice.  There are A LOT of people who are much closer to getting a referral than we are, and will have to scramble at the last minute to come up with the money to travel a) sooner than they expected; and b) a second time.  And, not only do we have plenty of time to save, but we're blessed with two incomes that make saving not as painful as it might be if we were only doing this on one income.
  • We GET to meet our baby earlier than expected.  Of course, I haven't forgotten that we won't be able to bring him/her home with us as soon as we meet, but we'll now have extra time together than we wouldn't have had previously .
  • We'll be able to get our shopping out of the way the first trip, and not have to lug home all of our purchases AND our baby gear in one trip.
  • We'll probably get to stay in a nice hotel (instead of a guest house) the first trip, since we won't have the baby with us.  I know, it's a bit shallow, but I'm trying to focus on ALL of the positives, no matter how small.
  • We'll get to learn all about making the trip to Addis and back without a baby, so we'll hopefully be wiser and more prepared the second time around WITH the baby.
I think as we get further into the process, we'll discover there are even more positives about this change than what I've initially identified, but these are the things I'm focusing on right now.  Any time anything changes, my intial response is to be upset.  But I've learned to have my pity party, get it out of the way, and move on.  I have a choice to be happy or miserable, and I definitely don't want to be miserable.  A wise man once said, "There's nothing so certain as change."  He was right, so I choose to roll with it... and get over it.

Happy Saturday!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010


We received some news today from Gladney - Effective immediately, Ethiopia is requiring adoptive parents to be present for the court hearing.  (Previously, parents were only required to travel to pick up their child once they passed court and the child was legally theirs.)  The new policy is actually more in line with what other countries require, but up until this point, Ethiopia had not required it. 

So what does this mean for us?  We will travel to Ethiopia, meet our child, attend our court hearing, stay for about 5 days, come back home (without my baby!), and then go back 3 to 6 weeks later to get the baby, attend our Embassy appointment, stay for about 7 days, and then come home for good. 

I have such mixed emotions about this.  And not really because of the negatives, but just because there's been a change (I guess).  It takes me so long to process my feelings that I'm a little unsure WHAT I'm feeling right now - and I don't want to make a bigger deal of this than it really is, but processing change is a little difficult for me.  Tomorrow I may be over it, and wondering what I was whining about today, but today I'm kind of bummed.  I mean, its GREAT that we get to meet our baby before we thought we were going to get to meet him/her, but then we have to LEAVE him/her and come back home ALONE!  Yeah, that's the part I'm struggling with.

Anyway, there's the update.  Wish I had something cheerier to report :)

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Our First Baby-Related Purchase and Gift

As many of you know, for some time now, I've had plans to get rid of our coffee table and replace it with something with less pointy corners.  I always got so stressed out when little kids would come over because I was sure they would bump into one of the corners of the table and injure themselves (possibly permanently!). 

I've also been thinking A LOT lately about how to best incorporate all of the STUFF that comes along with raising a kid.  And one of the things I began to panic about was toys in the Living Room.  (No, I don't have anything better to panic about!)  SO, I came up with a solution that made me feel less panicky about the toys-in-the-living-room issue AND the dangerous-coffee-table issue:  A STORAGE OTTOMAN! 

So, here is my Valentine's Day/Anniversary present for this year...

The lovely ottoman with non-pointy, non-poke-an-eye-out corners:

And then it opens to all of the toys:

Yes, yes, I know we only have one "toy", which really isn't a toy, but a book.  Our friends gave us this book:

"God Found Us You" by Lisa Tawn Bergren.  The summary from Amazon says, "The story is presented as a cherished and much-repeated bit of bedtime conversation between Mama Fox and Little Fox. Asked about “the day I came home,” Mama talks about how long she dreamed about and waited for Little Fox. Little Fox asks, “You were lonely for me?” and Mama’s affirmative response, for which several spreads of illustrations are provided, makes them cuddle all the closer: her pain is simultaneously shared and assuaged by Little Fox. Little Fox also asks about why he couldn’t stay “with the mother who had me,” and Mama responds in a warm and assuring tone."

I LOVE this book!  My most favorite part is after Mama Fox explains how she waited and waited and waited for Little Fox...

So far, each month when we get an update on the wait time, it gets longer and longer.  I'm preparing myself that our year and a half wait may actually be more of a two year wait.  It kind of makes me sad, but I keep going back to the premise of the page above.  And I really believe that God DOES know the child He has chosen for us.  And I DO BELIEVE that His timing is perfect.  And so we wait.... with hope and GREAT expectation.