Saturday, September 11, 2010

To Make You Feel My Love

Yesterday was kind of an odd day.  All afternoon I was very emotional - the kind of emotional where everything is wrong, but nothing is really wrong.  It was one of those days where I couldn't stop thinking about our baby.  NOT the I'm-going-to-lose-my-mind-if-we-don't-get-our-referral-soon kind of thinking, but thinking about whether s/he is born yet.  What's going on with the birthmother?  Does she know she won't get to see her baby grow up?  Is she thinking about placing her baby for adoption?  Does she wonder about the people who will raise her child?  Does she wonder if she's making the right decision?  And throughout all of those questions, the one thing I wanted the most was for our baby to know that s/he is loved already.  We don't know if s/he's a boy or a girl!  We don't know how old s/he is.  We don't know the details of his/her face, but we are already connected emotionally.  So, as I sat at my desk yesterday, trying to keep it together and not dissolve into a puddle of tears, To Make You Feel My Love by Garth Brooks came on my iPod.  I love so many of the romantic songs from the Hope Floats soundtrack, but this song suddenly had new meaning...

When the rain is blowing in your face

And the whole world is on your case
I would offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry, I'd go blind for you
I'd go crawling down the aisle for you
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on a rolling sea
Down the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
But you ain't seen nothing like me yet

There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
Make you happy, make your dreams come true
To make you feel my love

When I came home from work, there was a letter in the mailbox from World Vision.  It was an update on the little girl we sponsor in Ethiopia, which included a new picture.  Since World Vision has a policy about not posting pictures of their children on the internet, I'll just show you her feet.  The sweet, sad feet that I cannot get out of my head...

Until I enlarged the picture I thought those were her toes sticking out of her left boot.  I now realize that it's just a leaf, or something she's standing on.  If you could see the entire picture, you would see that Sweet Baby is wearing what I'm guessing to be most - if not all - of the clothes she owns.  As you can see, she has on sweatpants under her dress.  Over her dress, she has on the matching sweatshirt that reads, "Just Do It."  I realize she's not used to the same quality of living that I am, but I can't help but look at this picture and think, "This is unacceptable."  But what can I do?  I really don't know, but I have to find something.  This breaks my heart.


  1. very well written post.
    thank you for sharing .

  2. Have you checked out You might enjoy that site as you prepare for bringing your child home.

  3. Just want you to know how much you and Rob are loved too! We pray with you as you prepare your hearts and lives for the child you will raise!